I am simply an observer. Nothing more, nothing less.
My friend has taken me to see her favourite singer at a place called The Birdcage. I must admit, she's pretty good, but it's hard to fully appreciate music you don't really know, and for some reason or another I find it difficult to just sit down and listen. My head fills with the most random of thoughts. When she starts to sing some sort of love song with her guitar, I observe her and the man on the side of the stage, taking photos. It is obvious that he is a professional photographer and it is his job to take pictures of her, rather than him being a member of the audience, because of the confidence he took the photographs with and how everybody else seemed to ignore him. Well except for me, and maybe even her.
It would so happen that a story unfolded in my head as I observed the two of them, unraveling like a scroll and laying out clearly in front of me. This was their story.
They were childhood friends, next door neighbours to be exact. He was shy and quiet, someone who preferred to play alone with his simplistic toys, in his own little world, with a small smile. Maybe he was even bullied slightly, this would make sense as it is usually the quietest kids and the smartest kids (he might have been smart as well) who get bullied. It was because of this that he was always weary of other people. Then there was her, fearless and unreserved, always looking for more friends to make and people to share with, she had a bright smile. She stood up for him whenever she thought that someone was being nasty, she was proud to be friends with him. But she didn't play with him because she thought that was the right thing to do, it was because she wanted to. Quite often she startled him and was too loud for him. But he loved to have her next to him, humming or singing some strange and random tune.
They grew up like this. Both having different lives and, I determined, rather difficult lives. Him because of school and friends, her because of family. However, they always remained friends despite everything. And when she told him that she wanted to leave school and become a singer, he did not scold her or claim her foolish like others, he supported her, and eventually decided that he was going to drop school as well, and pursue his dream of becoming a photographer. They both faced many trails, but as you know they both made it, otherwise I would not be observing them now....
"Oh look we can buy the CD over there!" My friend exclaims in delight, "Are you going to buy one?". Well, it was only a two pound CD and the music wasn't half bad, "I will" I say.
But there's something different about their relationship, something has changed between them.
Was it love? For some reason I doubt this option. When their eyes meet it does not suggest a relationship to me. Oh I know!
The present day him focuses his camera one her, he is careful and precise. Once he takes the photo, he looks at it, then at her. His eyes are that of love, pride and sadness, of desperate longing. He believes she is too good for him, why should she fall for him? He is nothing. So he sits on the sidelines of her life, never reaching out incase he damages what he has. But he is something. She knows this. As she sings her love songs, she glances at him, but alas he is looking at his camera. She loves him, and this is as clear as day, and yet he never looks at her. She constantly tries to reach out for him, but he is always turned away. Perhaps he doesn't love her.
How this relationship will unfold in the future I have no way of knowing, for I am simply an observer. In fact this might not even be true. But this is what came to mind when I saw a camera man gazing at a singer, and a singer glancing at a cameraman.
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