Mathew

In a typical high school classroom, a girl looked over at Mathew.
She looked at him with the most curious expression on her face. It was almost as though she was gazing a the most beautiful painting in the world, it was something that she had seen many times before, so the initial shock was gone, but there were still new things to search for.
Because every time she looked at Mathew, she saw something new there. She was sure that she knew him the best in the entire world.
"You really love him don't you?"
Her friend was suddenly in front of her, obviously watching her watching Mathew. The girl blushed and nodded, looking at her feet in embarrassment. He friend laughed and said "You better be careful though. You're not the only one after him."
This was true. Everybody knew and loved Mathew. Smart, handsome and friendly. He was the kind of guy that would help everybody no matter what, always making sure other people were happy, even if it meant sacrificing himself. He empathised more than anybody ever could. Even she, had once been bullied and unaccepted by her classmates. But Mathew had become her friend, and now she had lots of friends. She was eternally grateful.
She flushed with determination, adjusted her glasses, took a novel out of her bag and went over to him.
Mathew had been staring out of the window, ignorant to her gazing. It actually took him a moment for him to realise she was standing in front of his desk. When he noticed, he smiled and greeted her. He had a beautiful smile.
"Umm... I- I wanted to give this to you." She stammered, as she held out the book.
"Oh thank you! I sure I'll enjoy it, and I'll give it back as soon as I'm finished."
"You- You can keep it for as long as you want."
"Thank you."
There was a slight pause. She desperately tried to think of something to talk about.
"Sorry, one of the pages is starting to fall out. My sister borrowed it and didn't treat it very well." She stated with casual annoyance in her voice.
Mathew turned and looked at her, there was a look in his face that she had never seen before, and she wondered if she had said something wrong. But then he smile and said, "I didn't know you had a sister."
"Yeah, she's- umm- a couple of years under than us...."
Again she tried to think of something to say.
"You don't have any siblings do you Mathew." She stated. Sure that she knew everything about him. Sure that this was a safe conversation.
"I had a brother."
She looked at him in surprise. He was wearing a look of regret on his face, like he said something her shouldn't have.
"He was my twin. But he died, a long time ago."
The only thing she could think to say was "Sorry"
"It's alright. It happened a long time ago." Giving her a reassuring smile.
She decided to leave him. As she made her way home thought "Do I know anything about Mathew? Does anybody know anything about Mathew?".

A couple of days later, she gathered the courage to ask him something:
"Could we walk home together today?"
On the way home, they walked in silence for a while. He started conversation this time.
"I'm really enjoying the book you gave me."
"Really?" She blushed,
"Yeah. It's quite sad though."
"Yes it is."
There was an awkward pause. She decided to take this opportunity and say,
"About what you said the other day...."
"Hmm?"
"About your brother..."
He sated at the ground in silence. The said "It's nothing. Please don't worry about it. Like I said, it happened a long time ago."
She remained silent, waiting for him to continue.
"His name was Jonathan. He died when we were eleven."
"Were you close?"
"Very."
"How did he die?"
Mathew went back to staring at the ground, and she decided to tell him her true feelings.
"Listen Mathew. I love you."
She took a deep breath, and continued.
"I have always loved you. You help everybody, you are kind to everybody. There is nothing you wouldn't do to help somebody. When I was all alone, you reach out to me. You know everything about me.
I know that you would sacrifice yourself if it meant that somebody else didn't get hurt. Even if they were the worst person in the world. But sometimes I think, Who helps Mathew? Who would sacrifice themselves for Mathew? Then I realised something. I don't know anything about you. That makes me sad because I love you so much and I didn't even know you had a brother. Something as simple as that and I didn't even know." Tears started to fall from her eyes, but she didn't bother to wipe them off. Instead she looked to him.
He was staring off into the sunset. Thinking. At last he turned to look at her.
"I killed him."
"Huh?"
"I killed him. I killed my brother. Jonathan."
"No you didn't."
He looked at her intent and said "I'm not capable of love. The only emotion I am capable of is pain.
But although I cannot love you. I will tell you my story. Only you. As thank you for your feelings."